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October 16, 2019

Coach,

I apologize for leaving so soon after the presentation, but I want to take the time to thank you for including me tonight and making me feel visible.  It has been difficult for me to find people I can truly confide in and trust, and I appreciate how empathetic and open you are to everyone you meet.  The past few weeks have been incredibly stressful for me with completing college and nomination applications, staying on top of my studies, preparing for this coming basketball season, and many other things.  It’s so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of life and busy schedules, especially in today’s world.  I feel like I barely get the chance to sit back, breathe, and focus on the important things in life.  Being able to join you and my friends, and learn more about your program was incredibly special, inspiring, and refreshing.

When you introduced me to the audience and mentioned that I made you feel visible by often saying hello and thank you, I realized how big of an impact a simple thing like that can have on a person.  Ever since I could speak, my parents have taught me to always greet people I know and say thank you to coaches, teachers, etc.  It has become second nature and I rarely see the impact it has on the recipient, aside from a smile or a greeting in return.  By acknowledging me for my simple act of kindness, you made me feel visible.

Daily, I try to make a difference in someone’s life, even if it’s a small difference, such as complimenting someone or helping someone solve a problem. No matter how hard I try, it can be difficult to know if I’m truly impacting someone.  Tonight, I was able to realize the difference I make in the lives of those around me and learn how I can make an even bigger difference by being more empathetic.  I’m glad you put me on the spot when you asked me what empathy was because I was so sure that sympathy played a big part in empathy (mostly because they rhyme).  After watching the cartoon video, I realized that when I believed I was showing empathy, I was just showing sympathy.  Often, when a friend or family member vented or shared their feelings, I just said things like “Oh, well at least you have this” or “At least you don’t have to do this”.  I never really thought about the negative impact those words might have on the recipient because I thought that my role was to help make the situation better.  I now understand that I need to try to connect and truly be empathetic toward others, rather than immediately try to fix the issue.

Another point in your presentation that really hit home with me was the “I Am Not a Label” video.  I always judge people by the content of their character because in the end, that’s what really matters.  It seems as if discrimination and racism are increasing, especially in this generation, and I’ve seen it firsthand with my brother’s friends.  It’s easy to slip up and judge someone by their appearance because society puts labels on everything.  A few years ago, I came across a quote that has stuck with me.  “Your first thought is what society has conditioned you to think, the second thought defines who you are.”  I used to feel incredibly guilty about my initial judgement when seeing someone because I know that it’s wrong to judge others by appearances.  Now, I realize that my initial thought doesn’t represent my character, my second thought does.  In April 2019, I traveled to Uganda on a medical and humanitarian mission and interacted with people living in extreme poverty.  My experiences there reinforced the values instilled in me by my parents.  When I came back to the States, I was able to empathize and connect with others on a deeper level.  Although my experiences in Uganda taught me to be more empathetic, I realized I had lost touch with that level of connection and tonight I was able to get it back.

On the car ride home, my mom and I talked about the presentation and how moving it was.  My mom was brought to tears many times throughout your presentation and enjoyed meeting you.  We were truly inspired by the stories you shared and the impact you’ve had on the lives of others.  Even though it seems like common sense to “act with respect always”, we often need reminders of what that really means and looks like.  I am going to start using my “99” every day and try to convince others to use theirs too.  The lessons I have learned and will continue to learn from you are ones that I will carry with me into the United States Army and hopefully at West Point.

I cannot thank you enough for the incredible impact you’ve had on me in the short time I’ve known you and I am so thankful that we crossed paths.  Thank you for making me feel visible and important.  I would love to become a more active member of your program, so if there is anything I can do, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

Sincerely,

Eve Crossett
Senior
Saratoga Springs High School
Saratoga Springs, NY